


Come back to me

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, M/M, Mpreg, Out of Character, Romance, Sexual Content, Slash, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-22
Updated: 2006-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-30 10:17:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10161002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: Harry Potter nearly lost his life in a battle for good against evil, the shock on hearing the news had serious consequences as his lover Draco Malfoy lost the baby he was carrying. The pain Draco felt at the time made him leave Harry and for the last ten years has been living with his old school mate Oliver Wood. But the time has come for Draco to try and get his lover back, so in an attempt to at least open a dialogue, Draco sends Harry a short note hoping that he will get a chance to see Harry again





	1. Love letters from the heart

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

Harry Potter nearly lost his life in a battle for good against evil, the shock on hearing the news had serious consequences as his lover Draco Malfoy lost the baby he was carrying. The pain Draco felt at the time made him leave Harry and for the last ten years has been living with his old school mate Oliver Wood. But the time has come for Draco to try and get his lover back, so in an attempt to at least open a dialogue, Draco sends Harry a short note hoping that he will get a chance to see Harry again

 

 

Hello again my love, 

 

The air outside is colder than is usual for this time of year. It has set into my bones, the old scars that I carry like trophies of the battles when we fought side by side ache, reminding me of how foolish we were to receive them in the first place.  
The feeling of emptiness in the air forces my mind back to times when the cold would hold no fear for me; I had you to keep me warm, you to keep me safe, you to hold me, and infuse me with your joi d’vivre….

I wish you were here right now, to hold me again, to protect me from mine own inability to enjoy the moment, any moment. 

You always had the most wonderful way of seeing potential in every person, or situation, I miss that. I miss you.  
Oh how I miss your laughter, and the way your smile could light up a room, carrying with it the ability to give hope to all the people who believed hope was lost. How i would give all that i am to see you give me back my smile.

The war took so much away from us; victory promised huge rewards but delivered nothing. Dumbledore was almost canonised, you were vilified, even in victory portrayed as a monster, I, I became self ostracised. I am so sorry for doing that.

He knows! He always has! He is a good man, I am so grateful to him for staying with me these past ten years, never once asking for anything in return, giving his own life out of his love for me, knowing I will never love him in return.

Do you remember the first time I flew a kite? You cried when you saw how happy it made me feel, I cried when I saw that you cried, and then cried some more when my kite blew away. We laughed that day and you made love to me under the stars, and our child was conceived.

Do you remember telling me that I was the most glorious creature in the universe, how you would never leave me, always protect me, and always protect the baby, our baby, our family?

Ironic really that it was I who left you. After I lost the baby, our baby, I blamed you. Why couldn’t you have been an ordinary wizard, not some hero?  
Why did I have to leave my nerves in the protection of a sleeping draft each night when you didn’t come home, each night you had to battle to save one more life, one more battle that needed to be won? It was for the good of all you said. Fuck the good of man I said; I only cared about us, the three of us.

The night I heard you were injured and near to death, was the night I miscarried, the night I tried to give our stillborn baby the kiss of life - alone and without you. I tried to bring our child back to life, all I could think was that I had let you down, had not loved him enough. Your pain was as deep as mine when we buried him, but I had changed, coldness had set in my heart.

 

My pain was so great I needed to hate you, I needed you to pay, needed you to suffer.  
You killed my baby, you killed our baby, you killed me, and you killed us.  
I remember your face when I lied to you, when I told you that I didn’t love you. You were broken.  
I was ashamed.  
I am still ashamed,   
I do not think I will ever truly understand the capacity for selflessness. I understand only that I have used up all the pain I have. I am empty, and you are the fuel I need. I lied when I said I didn’t love you and that I hated you and would never forgive you the loss of our baby. I never truly blamed you for our loss, in the end the forgiveness is yours to give and I beg it right now.

I did love you.  
I still do.

Please love me in return... 

 

Draco


	2. I am here

_Rain pours on a lost soul walking through the night_  
All that it feels is pain and loss  
The rain stops and the moon shines upon the lost soul  
It begins to find a bit of itself within the light  
A cloud covers the moon making shadows embrace the soul  
The soul shivers within the cold hands of shadow  
It begins to feel empty again  
The wind picks up and the air grows colder  
The rain begins to sprinkle  
The soul battles to keep aware but slowly loses  
The rain pours on the poor lost soul walking through the night 

 

 

**A large eagle owl delivers a letter to the manor house Draco Malfoy shares with his companion Oliver Wood, Draco steeling himself, takes the letter to his favourite window seat, breaks the seal on it and starts to read the returned letter from his lost love Harry Potter**

 

_Hi Dray,_  
Your letter took me rather by surprise, for years I had waited and hoped that you would contact me.  
My guilt at letting you down and allowing my destiny to beat Voldemort and save the world, to come before my destiny to be with you and save myself prevented me from taking the first step. 

_It was years before I looked at myself in the mirror again, another few years to get over the curse of breaking so many of them. All I ever saw when I looked at myself in one, was the face of a murderer, the face that allowed my heart, my life my love, you, to fall and for our baby to be no more._

_I didn’t blame you your pain I deserved it. My soul escaped me that day you said you hated me, tears that would shed could not, my shattered emotions didn’t have the power to fuel them.  
Sleep became a long distant memory of mine. The loss I felt in our bed without you forced me to spend night’s weeks years curled up in front of the fire. Our bed still has the same sheets that you left on it that day you walked out of my life, the day you broke my heart._

_I remember the day I taught you how to really laugh, how you were scared someone would see you, somebody would see the Ice Prince melt. It was joy to melt you and joyous to reap the rewards. You laughed so much with me until that war started, I hated myself my role and what it did to your beautiful smile, how could I not give my life to give you back the treasure of my memories. The monster that war created died along with my son; I care not for others opinions of the boy who lived, when his son died in the arms of his life, that boy died. The only battle I would entertain now would be for your love._

_I have always known that Oliver is a good man although I have been jealous that he has had your company these last ten years. I have known in my heart that he didn’t hold the strings to yours, you never were one to make a habit of saying something for the sake of it.  
When you told me that you loved me. I knew that it was forever, that your soul was speaking not just your words, as much as my heart broke when you told me that you hated me, told me that you blamed me for the loss of our son, blamed me for tearing your world apart, blamed me…. _

_I understood._

_I understood that it was your pain unleashing its wrath, it was your right. I prayed every night ‘til the words seemed to speak on their own that you would come back to me, in some part, in some way. Ten years goes remarkably slowly when you are lonely and hoping, I withdrew into myself, friends I had had, quickly forgot my pain, that I was hurting, that it wasn’t only you that was hurting. Quickly they moved on, got on with their own lives, I could not.  
When I look back and view the emptiness I have felt these past ten years, I feel like I have been cheated of a third of my life. That I was robbed. Robbed of your love, desperate for your warmth, your strength, and your touch your kiss._

_I was empty without you and my son I found that changing that my outlook on life to one of empty vision was the only way I can get through my days. I was residing in the morbid comforts of the past even taking comfort in the vision I witnessed as we lowered our boy into the ground, our son. You named him Cain, even in your pain you wanted your son to know he was the son of a warrior, it was the single most selfless thing you ever did my love. These visions like all visions of you I would cling to, they were the only things that kept me anchored and sane in this reality._

_I was always one to dwell far too much in the past. But residence there carries a high price, and I couldn’t afford to pay it anymore. It hurt too much and I have had to give up my hate for my self and my crimes, the biggest crime of all was allowing you to leave me, allowing our baby to never see his daddy, allowing our family to split. I too have used all my anger; I have come to terms with our loss, though I will stop feeling the emptiness of it._  
I am just a fool who has always been in love with you, funny when you say I am the fuel you need.  
I am scared to fuck up again, scared that I may hurt you all over again, scared that you will regret still being in love with me. Draco I’m so fucking scared. 

_I feel like I did when I was just about to kiss you for the first time, the butterflies in my stomach seem to have morphed into dragons, quite fitting really. I feel like I did on our first date, I was shivering with the cold clinging on to a single white rose, it was to symbolise the love I knew would grow in my heart for you, I stood out side your door waiting for you to come to me._

_This time I bring with me, three roses, one is for our past and how we will never be able to change it. One is for Cain and the love we will never allow to lessen in our hearts for him.  
And one is for the future, in the hope that you will come back to me and be mine again. My life could only have meaning when you are in it._

_I don’t want to look at anybody else but you,_  
I don’t want to talk to anybody else but you,   
And I don’t want to love anybody else but you, 

_I need you Draco._

_Come back to me,_

_Harry._


	3. Love letters from the heart

Draco sat by the lake alone, it had been two weeks since he left his long term companion Oliver Wood and moved back into his home with his lover and soul mate Harry Potter. Warily Harry gave Draco the solitude he needed. Oliver had sent Draco a letter which had lay unopened for ten days; Harry believed that this moment deservedly belonged to Draco alone.  
As Harry walked slowly away he saw his lover break the seal on the letter, a silent tear streaked down his cheek as Draco read the message from the man he had lived with for the last ten years.

 

Draco~

I knew when this began those many years ago that I would never truly have your heart. It had been claimed, marked by another, before we even met. 

I knew from the start that I was living on borrowed time, that one day you would be strong enough to move back to where you and I both know you belonged, by his side and in his bed meeting each day in his arms.

I know that in your own special way you truly did, and possibly still do, love me. As a friend and confidant, we did after all spend many wonderful hours in each others company. But you never once looked upon me as a possible mate or lover, my love for you knew why and I respected that, what intimacy we did share will always be cherished by me.

Don’t feel guilt over our parting. You never promised me forever and I knew better than to assume it. Make the most of your reunion. Neither of you have been whole without the other next to you. You both, but most especially you deserve to be happy in this life.

Thank you, Draco. Thank you for spending this time with me. Thank you for all the laughter. The deep caresses, flitting touches, and all of the brushing kisses I will carry with me always. You, Draco, were my life.

I will not dishonor you or what we had together by lying to you now. It hurt me to watch you leave our home, our life, my life. But, know this pet, I understand. 

I love you, Draco Malfoy. I love you enough to want you to be happy at all costs. Even if it means that it is with him instead of me. 

Make this pain that I am feeling mean something. Make it worthwhile, honor what we had and promise me that you will rebuild your life with him. The war robbed you of a family, don’t be scared of being a parent again, you will make a wonderful mom. Promise me that you will not waste any time dragging up the past, leave it where it belongs in the past. Be happy… do more than exist. 

Live, Draco. Live for the first time in years. 

Love Draco. Love him every moment you can.

I am leaving the home we shared, I need to get away from the memories it holds. While I understand and believe that you have made the right decision for you, I would not be strong enough to bare witness to its success, to take seeing you with him.

Knowing it is one thing. Seeing it is another.

Make the most of this second chance, pet.

You deserve it

With Unending Love~

Ollie

Please review


	4. Happy ever afters

“Surprise”

 

Severus Snape woken up from his slumbered reverie looked up, and was met with the most charming grin any proud father could hope to see.

“Happy Birthday! Daddy, come on lazy bones! Papa is making you breakfast. and he says you have two minutes flat”

“Ok Dracelle, tell my insufferable husband, that I will be with him shortly, now get out before I turn into the BOOGEY MAN AND EAT YOU, WHOA WHOA”

Severus laughed as he saw his five year old daughter rush through the door screaming for her other papa’s help

“Papa help, daddy’s turning into the boogey man again” screamed a happily giggling Dracelle.

Running up to her papa and hugging his legs burying her head in the bend behind his knees Dracelle Snape giggled splendidly, she loved playing chase with her father. Her papa loved to watch the antics of his beloved husband and daughter.

Only 7 years ago he had had his heart ripped apart when the love of his life left him. He knew it was going to happen. In a way, he had prepared himself the best way that he could, for the loss. Now aged 37 Oliver Wood was where he had always wanted to be in his life, in love with a wonderful man and with family that truly needed him.

Events hadn’t been kind to Oliver 7 years ago, the love of his life Draco Malfoy, upped one day, and returned to his estranged lover Harry Potter. Oliver knew that the romance between Harry and Draco was merely dormant, never dead. He knew that as long as Harry was still alive Draco would never be his. It was the only real companion he actually had for the ten years they lived together.

Draco had settled back into his life with Harry as if they had never been apart. They now had two children and were regulars at candlelit soirées hosted by Oliver and Severus. To show how much their lives had moved on Draco and Harry had called their first born Olivia, whilst Severus and Oliver following suit with the naming of their first child Dracelle.

Thankfully Severus Snape found him that cold Sunday in December back in 2010. Oliver had written Severus to inform him of his plans to commit suicide.  
He had been depressed and wanted a way out, his life held no meaning for him anymore. With Draco happy again and back with the man he was destined to be with, pain and solitude had eaten away at the normally fun loving young man’s soul. What was left, he didn’t want to be part of anymore. He just wanted to die.

Severus did a most remarkable thing that day. He agreed. He agreed to help Oliver take his own life, but would only do it on the proviso that Oliver helps him do the same.

Flashback

 

Dear Severus,

As you are no doubt aware, Draco has returned to his life with Harry. He has done this with my blessing, but I must admit I am broken. I cannot function without him in my life and I call on the friendship we have enjoyed this past ten years, to ask that you help me alleviate this burden from my heart.  
Without going into too much detail, I would rather the draft I need, be made by you. I thank you in advance for your help in this matter and ask that you trust me when I tell you. There is no other way for me.

Regards dear friend

Oliver

Severus replied straight away to that letter.

 

Dearest Oliver

I can of course help you with your request, on one understanding. You also help me do the same. I like you have struggled to come to terms with how my life would be without the person I loved so much, not being part of it. I decided that I would be patient and wait for him to be free from the unrealistic hope he was clinging to. Ten years I have waited and it now seems fate will deal me another blank card.  
I will help you end your life because without you in my life I may as well be dead. Agree to help me end my life and I promise to help you end yours.  
Maybe in the next life we may realise that we have been loved by someone all along.

You’re devoted servant

Severus

 

Oliver received the letter and immediately went to Snape Manor, the realisation that this man, who all this time, had been the rock that Oliver had relied on, actually loved him, like that, was something Oliver hadn’t counted on.  
Knocking on the door he was greeted by his Sev, and in that instant, as Oliver’s blue eyes met Severus ebony black, they both knew.  
Both knew that they were destined for one more chance.  
Oliver held out the letter he had received that morning from Severus, just as Severus held out his own correspondence.

“Sev I never knew” a tearful Oliver said, eyes not leaving those of his old friend

“If I had told you, would you have come to me? Severus replied.

“Probably not, but I would have thought about the chance to be happy with you, against the waiting for forgiveness Draco had to give Harry” Severus held out a hand and took the parchment from his ex student. Telling Oliver of his deepest feelings for him.

“I have loved you since you were in my care, I cannot let you do this alone, if you want to die, I will need to join you. If you want to love, let me give you a reason to live, and learn to love me in return”

Oliver stepped forward and feeling Severus’ breath against his face lunged into his friend in a deep and needing kiss, the letters were dropped and the door left open as Severus allowed Oliver to manoeuvre him inside, once in the hallway Severus pulled at the cloak Oliver was wearing, receiving similar treatment from the younger man. One by one clothes were shed until they both stood in each others arms naked, and in need of the others love.

“Bed” Severus whispered in between deep bouts of kissing. Oliver surprised the older man by sweeping him up in his arms and carrying him to the bedroom.

“Promise me you will never want another Severus; promise me I won’t ever see you walk out that door, in another man’s arms”

Severus looked deep into his loves arms and tears started to fall silently down his face.

“I promise you, I promise”

End flashback

 

Today was Severus’ 55th Birthday; happiness had come late in life for him. But what joyful, passionate happiness it was.   
Oliver never left the Manor after that morning, after making love for what seemed hours Severus got up to go to work, asking Oliver what his plans were. When Oliver said he didn’t know, now that he had been saved from himself. Severus told him he didn’t have to leave if he didn’t want to.

That was seven years ago, and the man who had cared for his heart and soul was entering the kitchen, still in great shape for a man in his sixth decade. 

“Happy birthday love” Oliver said, moving back against the warm body embracing him.

“Give Daddy his special present papa” Dracelle shouted, Severus could tell by her animated antics, there was something that he hadn’t been told yet.

“My special present?” Severus asked turning his husband around to face him, at the same time feeling Dracelle’ s weight on his shoulders as she jumped off the table and was now clinging to his neck. Adjusting his daughter so that she sat comfortably in his arms, Severus asked again.

“Ollie, what is this special present, my daughter seems so overjoyed by?”

Oliver was beaming at his husband of five years, Dracelle was giggling and pulling her papa into the huddle she was enjoying with her daddy. Oliver leant in giving Severus a deep kiss on the lips, a silent tear rolled down his cheek falling on Severus chest.

“Don’t cry papa, daddy is going to be so pleased, we are going to be the happiest family in the world, aren’t we daddy?” Dracelle looked at her fathers with huge eyes filled with wonder.

“So Ollie, are you going to give me my special present before our little minx explodes?”

Oliver took Severus’s free hand and placed it on his tummy, Dracelle giggled uncontrollably as the realisation of what Oliver was expressing sank into Severus.

“What we are..?” Severus was speechless, he couldn’t get the words out for the sheer joy and excitement the discovery gave him.

“Yes darling, it’s true. We are having another baby. Happy birthday”

 

THE END


End file.
